There goes the neighborhood! (picture heavy)

Alright, let's try this again. I'm going to attempt to get back into blogging. Yay! It'll be a bit different; I'm not doing many papercrafts anymore, but I'm cooking a lot, sewing, knitting, and thinking, so I'm sure I can come up with something to post about.

In my life right now: I'm living in the armpit of the country, hating every day of my life. I'm attempting college again, and trying to find a job so that I can save enough money to move. My goal is Arizona. There is family drama related to my decision, of course, but the fact of the matter is, I need to get out of here before I jump in front of a train! >=/

Here come a whole bunch of pictures!

My origami llama army in progress:


I made over 80 stitch markers! Here are a few of them.


Nautical sweater I've been working on. Of course, its now way up in the 90's, and all this needs now is ribbing around the cuffs (I'll have to get a more recent pic soon). The pattern is $5 in Paris (Ravelry)


A couple of project bags I made. Drafted the patterns up myself. Thinking of putting up a tutorial for the pink one, because I took a lot of pics while I was making it. The batik tote was made for my nautical sweater project. I made it to fit my KnitPicks Options pouch, and it's perfect :) The pink one is fully lined, and trimmed with bias tape, which also makes up the straps. I sometimes use it as a purse, and my daughter sometimes uses it as an overnight bag, but I made it to be a project bag...go figure.



Took my boy to the range! He's got serious talent; he hit about 75% of the targets he aimed for! I shot trap for the first time. I didn't hit shit, but I loved it! :) The boy is firing my Walther p22, I'm firing our 16ga shotgun. It was like 300deg outside that day =S


I've been cooking.  A LOT. I've learned how to bake! I've been making bread, cookies, and just about everything I can get the ingredients for. I buy yeast in JARS, and flour 10-20lbs at a time! I *desperately* need a stand mixer, but it is waaaay out of our budget =/


Tying knots...it's what I do at 3am when I can't sleep.

 

I'd been eyeing the infinity knot rings online for months. So I made one! I'd love to make more, I have friends that want to buy them. Need a ring mandrel!
 

I've been working on this self portrait. Wacom tablet + Photoshop CS5


 Aaaaand here's a recent picture of me...I think it's been a couple years since I've posted one.
 

Finally, I've been painting my nails. Seriously, like, EVERY DAY. Okay, not right this moment; I broke a couple, so I cut them all off, and still have about a week before I'll start on them again. I feel completely naked without nail polish -_- I have amassed a collection of about 40 polishes so far....okay, honestly, I haven't counted since I had 30, so I'm probably much closer to 60 polishes now! Sorry for the blurry pics; I change my mani so often, I often forget to take a pic until right before I change it, so I just end up using my iPhone.
 
 


I think that's enough for now. =)

How to achieve Awesomeness at age 30

How to achieve Awesomeness at age 30
or
Why I Will Never be a Grownup
or
Birth Control

*This post is being written at 12:56am. While bleaching my teeth. This story is an entirely True Story (okay, I might've guessed at some of the time spans, lol), and an honest representation of an average day in my life right now.*

• Two important notes before I begin this step-by-step method I use to achieve Awesomeness: first, never get your hair cut or coloured more than 4 times a year. Second, you are only allowed up to FIVE (5) non-Walmart or Target Awesomeness Implements (mine are Mac eye liner and shadows, and Sephora makeup brushes & brush cleaner).
  
• Awesomeness is not easy. It takes hard work, and a lot of sacrifice (only a little blood & tears, fortunately!). This is gonna take a while. You may wanna go grab a Redbull (with or without vodka is up to you).

Ready? Awesome.

1. Carefully pin/clip/rubberband all your hair back. Wet & soap up your face.
2. Unclog random toy/mud/paper mache from sink drain with your soapy eyes closed, because you didn't notice it until the water started spilling out onto your feet.
3. Rinse face.
4. Wander around the house looking for the clean towel you were sure you put in the cabinet the night before. Don't forget to drip icy water down your neck and into your bra. Change into dry socks, but not before considering drying your face and boobs with them.
5. Pat your face dry. The habits of 15min a day tanning beds, forgetting your sunglasses, and smoking are one thing, but don't you dare damage your skin by RUBBING it!
6. On second thought, air dry. You could probably use a cigarette at this point.
7. Smear some Awesome fountain-of-youth-promise on your face in the form of an overly neon muddy face mask.
8. Go feed the minions. They will never agree to eat the same thing, so make oatmeal (or macaroni), then wash the pot again, and make grits (or ramen). Spend at least 5mins stirring ice cubes one by one into food until it is deemed "cool enough to eat" (why the hell did I even cook it?!).
9. Remember to feed 4-legged tail-wagging minions. Get knocked into the dirt. Go ahead and do that again, for good measure.
10. Feed 4-legged purring minions. Step in a puddle on the kitchen floor (melted ice cube, no doubt). Remove one sock.
11. Upon hearing the doorbell, promptly forget that you are wearing one sock and a wet tanktop. Remember just as you open the door and are greeted by super-cute UPS guy. Let it slide, you're Awesomeness cannot be twarted by a sock (and what guy is really gonna hate being greeted by a wet tanktop, right?). Chit chat. The weather has been Awesome lately. Sign for HUGE brown box (OMG SOMEONE SENT ME A VOLKSWAGEN - YAYSQUEAL!).
12. Awkwardly try to wrestle Big Brown Box into the front door. Chase after Big Brown Truck (don't forget to repeatedly yell, "HELP! WAIT! PLEASE HELP!") when you realize Obnoxiously Oversized Brown Box is addressed to the person that lived in your house over a year ago.
13. DO NOT catch Big Brown Truck.
14. Walk home (in one sock). Suck up your pride, and politely greet all of your neighbors that have come out to the cries for help. It really is a nice neighborhood.
15. Dig around for a bandaid to put on a scratch Minion #2 received whilst capturing a 4-legged purring minion that had bolted out the door after you. Kiss it better, and give a dramatic "YAY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE!" smile.
16. Feel the bastard neon green mask on your face crack.
17. Wash off the mask (do you know where your towel is?). Burn 175 calories concentrating really hard on forgetting the gorgeous bronzed blue-eyed hottie in brown shorts that you chased down the block. Screw the neighbors; they probably weren't even surprised at this point (and none of them actually ASKED if you needed help *hrmph*).
18. Find astringent. Do not find cotton balls (aside - victory fistpump for figuring out what was clogging the drain). Settle for toilet paper. Reset pH balance of your face with astringent. Spend at least 3min picking TP lint off your face.
19. Slather on tinted moisturizer. Your kind of Awesomeness is a Two-Birds kind of Awesomeness.
20. Fluff bronzer all over your face. Realize that your face is now much darker than the rest of you (WTF - TANNING BED NOOB).
21. Fluff bronzer over neck, shoulders, and cleavage.
22. Very carefully try not to be too careful applying blush. Yay, victory!
23. Do a little victory dance, but stop immediately upon seeing a faint jiggle in your anti-bicep area. Shit. (say it, don't do it. Unless you really have to.)
24. Notice that all your powdered bronzer and blush has settled into your pores and wrinkles. Wash it off. Start over at tinted moisturizer step. Be more conservative with the powder.
25. Don't give a crap that your neck, shoulders, and boobs are darker than your face now.
26. Answer ringing phone. Try to explain to Minion #1's principal that poking Other Kid in the leg with the eraser-end of his pencil to get Other Kid's attention is NOT the same as "stabbing a peer with a dangerous pointed object". Hang up. Inform Minion #1 that he is suspended for 2 days. Mourn the future of our nation.
27. Apply eye makeup. Look like one of those 50-something women in skin-tight leopard print that you have always thought looked insecure, and are trying too hard to look younger than they are.
28. Wash it off. Start over again at tinted moisturizer (the Walmart/Target tip should be making sense now). Reapply all makeup. Still a little dark, but it's already gotten pretty late in the day, so you most likely won't make it out of the house anyway.
29. Straighten hair. Be sure to burn yourself at least twice.
30. Spend a minimum of 10 minutes plucking grey hairs from your head with tweezers. Think about all the pictures you've seen of "Old Wives", and how they always had grey hair in them. Spend 5 more minutes plucking (maybe you're just a late-blooming blond?).
31. Go make dinner for minions. You forgot to defrost anything, so make macaroni and grits again. Drink a Redbull, and have a couple bites of cold leftover macaroni straight from the fridge.
32. Check Facebook while the minions eat. Remember than you once again forget to call Good Friend back. Tend your farm/island/bingo/poker.
33. Browse Photoshop brushes, knitting patterns, Sims 3 downloads, and check the Blue Book value of the Korean p.o.s. you drive (it's worth almost as much as I owe on it).
34. Spend about an hour looking at ticket prices to the Caribbean, Spain, Australia, etc. Spend another 30-60 minutes Windows shopping for the perfect bikini. Remember arm-jiggle.
35. Go do Pilates.
36. Get bored after 5 minutes. Go play Dance Central on Xbox for 2 hours, instead.
37. Rush the minions to their rooms. It's way past their bedtime. Don't forget to apologize for freaking out and acting like it was their fault (they're not stupid, and you don't want them to think you are crazy).
38. Open a delicious ice-cold imported beer. Facebook-message Good Friend that you are totally swamped, and will call her back tomorrow.
39. Actually intend to call her back tomorrow (Awesomeness is caring).
40. Take 4-legged tail-wagging minions for a walk at Almost-the-Middle-of-the-Night:thirty. It's dark, and every functional human is in bed, but you did your hair and makeup, so leave the house.
41. Open another expensive imported beer when you get home. Find first beer almost completely full, warm, and flat 10 minutes later.
42. Go to bed. Attempt to wake up at an Acceptable Time tomorrow.
43. Watch Law & Order.
44. Remember that you forgot to bleach your teeth. Go do that now.
45. Stomp around the house like a monster for the 5-15minutes the exceptionally foamy dental bleach is working it's magic. Thoroughly terrify the 4-legged purring minions (you'll be sleeping alone tonight).
46. Rinse bleach from mouth. Finish expensive imported beer on principle. It tastes like yak urine now.
47. Go back to bed.
48. Watch Law & Order.
49. Get up because you feel really bad about not calling Good Friend back, and can't stop thinking about all the other Good Friends you have not called in a while. Check Facebook for a reply to the message you sent earlier. Tend farm/island/bingo/poker. Rearrange desktop icons (I swear they move on their own just to piss me off).
50. Turn off alarm clock. It's time to get the kids up for school.
51. Have a champion breakfast of Redbull, a slice of lunchmeat, and half a dozen cigarettes.
52. Go to Minion #1's school to convince authorities there that you are a perfectly capable and functional parent. They are being overly dramatic about The Pencil Poking Incident. This should be easy, since your hair and makeup are already done.
53. Go home. Pass out on sofa while watching Law & Order. <3 Netflix.

• *It is now 2:17am, and I have just remembered that I have a leftover Burrito Supreme in the fridge. YAYSQUEAL!*
• In case my mom and/or husband are reading this, it was DARK coloured wet tank top =P
  

Things That Make You Wanna Slit Your Wristies.

Hey hey, Happy New Year, and all that! After 4 months without a computer, I'm now posting from a brand new Gateway laptop. I've been a Mac for almost 10 years now, so this is definitely a learning experience! To be honest, I got this computer in early December, so its not all that brand new anymore. And I didn't really miss having a computer since I have an iPhone ;) lol

Anyway, so, I logged onto to Flickr today, and I had a comment on this photo, titled "Crochet wristies":

The comment was from a woman telling me that Wristies is a copyrighted name, and told me to remove the word from the title, tags, and description. Well look at that; Wristies are a brand of polar fleece wristwarmers.

I changed the tags/title etc, but I found the whole thing a little disturbing. Firstly, she didn't say anything about this picture, which was right next to the other, and included the same words and tags.


Secondly, I thought it was pretty tacky, and unintelligent, that she decided to leave the cease and desist as a COMMENT on the picture. I didn't notice it for two months, because I just hadn't gone back to that picture. If it had been sent to me in a private message, at least I would have gotten email notification. And really, do you need to make sure that everyone that looks at these silly little crocheted tubes KNOWS that they aren't your polarfleece wristwarmers?

Wristies is a word that I've known, heard, and used since I was a kid! That's just what they're CALLED. I mean, yeah, they can be wristwarmers, but shoes can be kicks, and stockings can be nylons. Google agrees with me; a search in Images came up with a ton of not-Wristies-brand wristies. Is it really legal to copyright a word that is already widely used like that? Neither word is in the dictionary, as far as I can find. Just a whole lotta people using the term to describe the same thing: a glove, minus the thumb and fingers.

My first reaction, however, was: Why me? There are knitted & crocheted wristies on Etsy; if you search on Ravelry, you'll find 3 pages of patterns for wristies (and a whole lot more on the various other knit/crochet pattern sites out there). Most puzzling, is that a search on Flickr, where this person found my photo, brings up 680 results. I only glanced through the first few pages, but I didn't see any polarfleece Wristies. So why me? I'm not advertising my own wristwarmers, not profiting, nor am I claiming that I "invented" the garment (accessory?) or word. The only thing I figured is that the offending picture comes up as 3rd result when you Google "crochet wristies". But so do some others, and they don't have c&d comments on their pictures.

Tomorrow, I'm going to copyright "pants". All your pants are belong to me!

Alive, sans kickin'

Yeah, I'm still around. After losing what turned out to be TWINS, to my second ectopic rupture, I didn't feel much like posting anymore. I've now lost both of my fallopian tubes, and cannot get pregnant. Tragic, for sure. Currently, I'm waiting for yet another surgery, to take care of a scar tissue adhesion that is causing me pain, and a cyst on my ovary. Surgery is scheduled for August. Ugh.

I'm also having some problems with anxiety. My husband is going away to interrogator school on Feb 5, and will be gone for 5 months. Everyone keeps saying, "Oh, that's far away, you still have plenty of time..." yadda yadda. When you live the life we do, moving every 2-3 years, your concept of time changes. 6 months is a HUGE chunk of time. We're moving to Ft. Polk, LA, next July. Yes, it's a year away, but it feels like tomorrow. I'm not sleeping well, because I'm having disturbing dreams about moving by myself, custody issues, and struggling with the idea of being separated from my honey for half a year, only to be separated for a year and a half. Ft. Polk is where interrogators go to be prepared for deployment *sigh*

This summer has gone pretty well, so far, though. The kids have been pretty good, although my 9yr old son has entered the "I cannot tell the truth" phase. It's hard not being able to trust anything he says. I suppose, just like sleepless nights with a newborn, that this is all preparing me for the teenage years ;)

I have been crafting, mostly crochet. AND, I've been knitting! Much thanks to my wonderful mother<, who taught me more from two states away than all the knitting books I've read ;)

So, here are some pictures, just a sampling of some of the things I've been doing. I'm still doing swaps, a handful at a time, and I've really been enjoying sewing a lot more lately =]


Cherry stamp, carved for the "I <3 Cherries" swap on Swapbot


Little crochet mushroom, with hand-beaded straight pins.


Crochet coinpurse, with zipper, and little crocheted cherries (also for the "I <3 Cherries" swap on Swapbot)


Crochet beret, made from a pattern picked p at my LYS. I *love* this thing, and wear it all the time =]


My first finished knitted project, a sock for my iPhone. I really love this, it works better than any other iPhone "case" that I've had!


Wedding cake toppers (prototype). A good friend is getting married next spring, and asked me to make these for her.


Wire-wrapped jewelry sets, made for teacher gifts. (black is Swarovski crystal, blue is faceted sodalite)


Knitted fingerless loves. Again, I totally love these, and wear them a LOT, usually with the crocheted beret above.


Crocheting a super soft, fuzzy, scalloped scarf.

There you have it. I have been busy, despite pain that won't go away, and anxiety that has me jumpin' at the wind. I will make an effort to blog a whole lot more, although I must warn that my pictures may get crappier, as I have been seduced by the convienience of taking them with my iPhone, and uploading them immediately ;) I also tweet frequently over on Twitter!

Knock It Off!

*I keep editing this, because I keep forgetting things. Forgive me if you are using a reader!*




I actually look pregnant, believe it or not. It's not baby, or anything yet, of course - it's all fun stuff, like huge amounts of gas, and water (I'm Jupiter! I'm Neptune! I'm Jupiter! I'm Neptune!)

Anyway, my two favorite pair of pants do not fit me comfortably anymore unless I unbutton them. So, I made a knockoff maternity gadget, that will remain nameless (basically, it's a "Second letter of the alphabet" Band). Too effing easy to make to spend $20+ on one! Sheesh! This band hooks around the front belt loops of pants with snaps, and stretches comfortably to hide the unbuttons and resulting belly gap. Pretty nifty, imo. I might have to make them for my family for Thanksgiving Day use ;)

It's dark, and I am really tired, so I don't have a picture of the K Band in use, but I can assure you, it is in use right now. Every night, I lie on the sofa with my feet up, and my pants unbuttoned, and honestly, it just makes me feel fat. This is much better =]

Here is my little drawing, so that you can visualize my awesome new K Band. Except that mine is made of black cotton/lycra, with black snaps. The short ends are not turned & topstitched or anything; I just serged across them with black thread (they are hidden when they are looped around the beltloops, anyway. Oh, and the other half of the snaps is hidden in the diagram by the folded over ends. There are four complete sets of snaps on this.



I cut a rectangle 5in by [how long the fabric was when I stretched it comfortably from beltloop to beltloop over my unbuttoned pants]. I ironed the curly edges of the fabric flat, ironed a small strip of lightweight interfacing to each end (about 5in x 1in), folded the piece in half long-ways, and stitched up the long open edge. Back to the ironing board, I worked the piece so that the seam was centered in what became the back of the band, and ironed it flat, making sure not to slide my iron around so that I didn't stretch out the fabric much. Serged up the short ends, and applied snaps to the ends. I found that keeping the outer snaps closer to the corners kept the corners from poking out, or getting weird shaping from edges curling, etc.

I used lightweight iron-on interfacing on the very ends of the band, so that the snaps wouldn't rip through the fabric, but the center portion of the band would still remain stretchy. I wish there was stretchy interfacing...

I have some more of this type of fabric, and will probably make a couple more of these. But first, I need a new cap die for my snap press. After surviving countless trips across the country and back, little kids, big kids, men that are fascinated by a sewing "tool", this one die has finally wandered off.

If my mom is reading this: I used some of the black stretchy fabric you sent me ages ago to use on the edges of gloves...it boggles my mind how I managed to hang onto so much of my stash throughout these past 5 years! I think I have a gift...or a problem ;)

Lucky Number 7!

Every birthday my kids have is so special to me. I lost so many babies before they came along, and I hope that one day they will realize how special they are to me, and how encouraging they are to me. Every day that I see them running and jumping, singing, doing their homework, complaining about a bully at school, or quivering that lower lip because they are SO SAD because they wouldn't stop jumping on the sofa and got grounded, or tying 13 ribbons around the cat's tail and beg to re-name it "Pretty Princess"...every day I see these things, and I am reminded that I created the best that the world has to offer, and that I can do it again!

My Ashley is 7 years old today. At 10:20am March 18, 2002, my awesome dr yanked that little girl from my abdomen while her father and I - and the entire staff in the operating room - were singing along to the radio: "Hotel California". Funny, I had never liked that song before. She had a platinum cord, with a TRUE knot in it, and it was also wrapped around her neck. She was in a breech position, with one foot presenting (my cervix dealt with that for 2 months!), her other foot up next to her ear, squished between my ribs. Through all of this, she came out perfect, 7lbs, 13oz, with cheeks so chubby, the drs actually measured her jaw to find out why her chin looked so "pushed in" lol!

Ashley's favorite things to do now are singing (she is very good at making up songs), any kind of art, and playing "school teacher" to her [literally] hundreds of stuffed animals. And, of course, every one of those hundreds of animals sleep with her on her bed (E.T. style ;). Every night, she whispers a prayer over my belly that this baby will come out to meet her. I think she must be the sweetest thing ever ^_^

So, happy birthday Ashley! Thank you for all that you have done for me <3

Maybe Baby

My final hCG Quantitative results came back. To date, we have:

1999 on Monday
2600 on Wednesday
4452 on Friday

I think these numbers look wonderful; as I have previously stated, the numbers should be doubling every 72-96 hours. Since these tests are only 48 hours apart, it's hard to tell, but I think they look good. They are moving up, so, at this point, I am still pregnant, until proven otherwise.

I am getting really bad headaches, and I have to drink prune juice every morning. Tylenol doesn't do a THING for the headaches, but the prune juice has solved the problem of the cramping. Basically, I still FEEL pregnant. I just wish I had morning sickness; did you know that morning sickness is actually linked to a decrease in miscarriage risk? How fun.

What I am really scared about right now is a blighted ovum. Quite simply, this means that everything moves along in order, except that a baby never develops. Gestational sac keeps on truckin', body keeps on preparin', etc. We thought I was 6wks pregnant, at which time an embryo SHOULD be seen, but all we saw was a gestational sac. So....yeah. It would be a new one for me - I have not miscarried in that way before. In fact, if it is a blighted ovum, I will have miscarried in every way, excepting voluntary abortion.

How fun.